"SAVE US FATTY CHUMPKINS" the cries rang out from the train car as it hung precariously from the edge of the crevasse.
Fatty Chumpkins sat at his kitchen table enjoying is morning breakfast of 317 double chocolate fudge donuts when he heard the cry for help. His supersonic hearing could hear the faintest cries for help at remarkable distances while amazingly filtering out all unnecessary distractions. It was time for action, but he had only finished half of his meal! Opening his gullet wide he devoured the remaining donuts and a large portion of the table in a single bite and wiped his face on what was left of the table cloth. With a heave he used his inhuman strength to put his 4 ton girth into movement and stood up tall. Readying himself for flight he adjusted his feet and bent his knees slightly. A low rumble began to shake the ground beneath him that slowly reverberated to the walls and entire building he was in. The rumble grew louder and more violent as Fatty converted his calories into fuel. At last he was ready.
Fatty Chumpkins let forth a blast from his hind regions the likes of which the world had never seen, except for when he did the same thing yesterday, but that had already been long forgotten. The blast propelled Fatty into the sky faster than the most advanced rockets known to man and he began to fly towards the source of distress. Flying in this way quickly diminished his calorie count and ate into his fat stores and so he needed to replenish his strength. As he rocketed through the clouds he opened his mouth and began to consume them. Along with the clouds he picked up a few birds, bugs and even a flying drone that didn't move out of the way fast enough. Before long he spotted the train car and it was in a bad way. He had to be careful because he knew if he landed too close to the train car too quickly, his mass would cause a tremor that would surely push the train over the edge. But on the other hand if he landed too far away, he would never make it in time.
What to do? He pondered as he slowed his speed and began circling the train car in the air. He knew he had another option he could turn to, but he was hesitant because he knew the risks involved. Only a few seconds had passed since he arrived, but he saw that the car was not stable and was in fact slowly slipping further down. He did not have much time left. Gathering his wits about him he dove into action, soaring down towards the earth. He soared right past the train car and down into the canyon below. As he passed the car he stopped all propulsion and let his momentum carry him downward, but at the last minute he flipped around and powerfully forced out another huge blast. The jet of gas thundered through the canyon, echoing for miles around and kicking up a furious dust storm as his momentum shifted from downwards to upwards. Slowly at first due to his gargantuan size, but sure enough he started picking up speed.
As his momentum shifted he stretched his jaw in preparation for what he was about to attempt, for he had never tried anything as brash as this. The moment came and he split his mouth wider than he had ever before and scooped up the train car between his teeth with a cry of agony and triumph. As the weight of the train pushed against Fatty's teeth he struggled with all of his might to push back harder. Slowly, miraculously, the train car began moving backwards! Soon the rear wheels were back on solid ground. Then half the car. At last he pushed the final weight of the car back onto the canyon ledge and away from danger.
It was only then that his exhaustion caught up with him and he realized the repercussions of his actions. His clothes hung loosely from his thin arms and body, so much so in fact that they were being caught up in the wind and nearly pulling him off of his feet. He had to remove his shirt in order to remain standing unaided, and as he did his sweaty 12 pack abs glistened in the hot afternoon sun. As it turns out, the train he rescued was on it's way to the World's Hottest Women competition nearby and they all ran out to greet him and thank him with kisses. But, being the humble man he was he politely refused and stated "Sorry ladies, I'm taken".
Fatty Chumpkins decided after that day that he would leave that name behind, and resume his real life away from supernatural powers and lifesaving.
"The world can fend for itself for a while, I've got a family to raise."