Wednesday, Oct 13th 1999
I was harshly throttled awake early this morning because some poor bastard decided to throw himself into the safety of my new home to escape his pursuers. Having none of this I trotted my unhappy arse outside to have a word with the scoundrels. Three large men on horseback carrying menacing weapons gazed down at me. As I begin to berate these half-wits I hear the sound of my own voice and reality very quickly crashes back into me. Understanding my total disadvantage and giving into my helpless situation, I decided the best thing to do would be to just give up and die.
So I adopted a world class mongbat persona and fell to the dirt, limbs extended and tongue lolled out to one side. I even managed to cross my eyes and give a quiet "Ugggghhhhhh" as I closed my eyes for what I assumed would be the last time. As I laid still and silent in the dirt I heard nothing from my would-be killers. Abruptly all of them burst into hysterical laughter, and one fell from his horse gasping for air. They quickly regained their composure but seemed to forget their original victim as they began to walk back the way they had come.
Humiliated and ashamed I wallowed on my death bed for a while longer as the first light of morning broke across the tree line. Is this really what my life has come to? As my mind settled I remembered the young lad hiding nearby and sat up to look around. We locked eyes as I spotted him peeking out from behind my stump-house. We stared at each other for a moment before he stood up, and walked over to me.
"Thanks" he said while cowering awkwardly.
As I moved to finish standing up the boy turned around and sprinted away as if terrified. I have decided I've had more than enough of this mongbat life and will end this nonsense today. I will make another attempt at entering my workshop for it is my best hope of returning to normal anytime soon.